My Children, Be Joyful

2007-09-16 | 10:38 p.m.

Self-deprecation and pity-wallowing are so 2005. Really.

The new semester's started, and started off running, so to speak. A pretty considerable workload, even considering the other few semesters where I've taken a full course load, but there's a distinct difference this time - these are only classes in my major(s), so it's actually things I want to be doing. Quite regularly, too.

Of course, this doesn't mean it's easy, by any stretch of the imagination. The two companion classes of CAE 303 and 304 (Structural Design and Structural Analysis, respectively) are the main offenders here, but the other classes seem like they'll have a good amount of work.

Yet, most importantly, the vague undercurrent of depression, wistfulness, sadness, despair, or whatever you want to call it - the subtle feeling of the incorrectness of all things (and not paired with the outrage of a politically-motivated person, but the quiet acceptance of one resigned to one's fate); that isn't here anymore. I certainly dread failure, but that's nothing.

I'm also full of good feelings about this semester, and, indeed, this year. I've got my mandolin at school now, I'm thinking of quitting work entirely (or at least putting it on hiatus until break), I'll be making music with bitchin' people soon, I'm getting to know more interesting people in my major and in general - there's a general feeling of hope and excitement for the future, really. I don't know where I'll end up a year or ten from now, but somehow I am not worried.

We'll see how things pan out a month or so from now, but I am hopeful.

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