I need a pipe.

2004-01-04 | 5:58 p.m.

Not to smoke, just to hold while I speak in a faked British accent so I can pretend I'm an old Englishman sitting around and discussing the Pacific Rim markets and the destabilization of the Nikkei.

In an effort to avoid doing work, I have compiled this list. This is a list of one line of lyrics from every song on DJ Markski's "PROGRESSIVE SKI MIX 14". Enjoy the filler, my compatriots!

DJ Markski, rockin' the funky beats, progressive style.

The techno wave is back.

.

AAAAAARRRRREE YOUUUUUU REEEEAADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Raise yo' hands up in the air. (note: air prounounced "ai-ah" due to hard effort in sounding ghet-to).

Very well, my compatriots, I have decided to give up mightily on this.

A normally straightforward situation of my own failure has now become infinitely complex. Only time and my own twisted mind will tell what happens next.

I very seriously need to actually start this DBQ, but I have an immortal fear of getting myself back into the school mode , an example of which I shall provide here.

Comrade: Hey, Karl, how's life?
Me: I hate school, I hate life, and I hate you for having an ounce of enthusiasm.
Comrade: Dude, I'm just trying to talk to you.
Me: FUCK. YOU.

And that, my friends, is what I fear I will slump back into. Over break I re-learned the arts of empathy and emotion, and I do not want to give that up. Plus, going back to school means having to work crew on The Sound of Music, which (no offense to anyone who likes this musical) I despise with every fiber of my being. I DON'T CARE ABOUT AFFLUENT AUSTRIAN CHILDREN WHEN THE CONTEXT THIS MUSICAL IS SET IN IS MUCH MORE HORRIFIC THAN ANY WHINEY KIDS MISSING THEIR GOVERNESS. Plus, the woman's blaspheming against God Almighty by cavorting around with the children and flirting with the guys as she does, being a nun and all.

BAH! see? Pessimism levels rising, empathy fluid draining, apathy levels rising, blood pressure skyrocketing... it's SCHOOL AGAIN.

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