More fun than a pipe and a glass of scotch

Golly Gee

2004-12-05 | 9:49 a.m.

"Future Anxiety" is gripping me again; from just stage crew to college to my adulthood, I am filled with this sense of helplessness in the face of my steadily declining life prospects.
It's interesting how what looks like a potentially ruined day can so quickly turn around into pure, unadulterated joy for such an extended period of time... and then lose a bit of that positive edge due to my own stupidity. I should also mention that my addiction to BitTorrent is probably costing the school a lot of bandwidth. Oh well!
With a recent influx of money I've been making a large amount of purchases. It should be mentioned that the lion's share of my expenditures has been on books; a sort of comfort, I must say.
I remember how freshman year, I spent the first half without any real friends; never really 'hanging out' anywhere, just going home after school and sometimes seeing Marcin over the weekend. Why was this? Books, of course. Nothing can tide me over like a good book. Of course, then reading time declined and I started pursuing these interpersonal relationships; which, due to a generally bland, inoffensive demeanor, did not come to me with too much difficulty. However, this leads to me having expectations; something I should have realized long ago are rarely realized, if ever; and in the case of the fulfillment of such an 'if,' the condition does not stay fulfilled very long. However (and this, folks, is where things get nerdy), the timelessness of books is something unmatched by humanity. The erratic nature of humanity is important to experience, but there's nothing like literature. Some may be difficult to wade through, but once it's been done once, one can pass through again with minimal difficulty, perhaps picking up a few new details on the way. Syntax, word choice... all deliberate, all with meaning. You may not know what to expect but you can sense it. Now, I'm not knocking people, but I am descending deeper and deeper into insanity.
Somebody just get me accepted to each school I'm applying to, then get me a full ride; maybe then I'll have more time to rehabilitate.

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	Golly Gee 2004-12-05 \| 9:49 a.m. "Future Anxiety" is gripping me again; from just stage crew to college to my adulthood, I am filled with this sense of helplessness in the face of my steadily declining life prospects. It's interesting how what looks like a potentially ruined day can so quickly turn around into pure, unadulterated joy for such an extended period of time... and then lose a bit of that positive edge due to my own stupidity. I should also mention that my addiction to BitTorrent is probably costing the school a lot of bandwidth. Oh well! With a recent influx of money I've been making a large amount of purchases. It should be mentioned that the lion's share of my expenditures has been on books; a sort of comfort, I must say. I remember how freshman year, I spent the first half without any real friends; never really 'hanging out' anywhere, just going home after school and sometimes seeing Marcin over the weekend. Why was this? Books, of course. Nothing can tide me over like a good book. Of course, then reading time declined and I started pursuing these interpersonal relationships; which, due to a generally bland, inoffensive demeanor, did not come to me with too much difficulty. However, this leads to me having expectations; something I should have realized long ago are rarely realized, if ever; and in the case of the fulfillment of such an 'if,' the condition does not stay fulfilled very long. However (and this, folks, is where things get nerdy), the timelessness of books is something unmatched by humanity. The erratic nature of humanity is important to experience, but there's nothing like literature. Some may be difficult to wade through, but once it's been done once, one can pass through again with minimal difficulty, perhaps picking up a few new details on the way. Syntax, word choice... all deliberate, all with meaning. You may not know what to expect but you can sense it. Now, I'm not knocking people, but I am descending deeper and deeper into insanity. Somebody just get me accepted to each school I'm applying to, then get me a full ride; maybe then I'll have more time to rehabilitate. Yesterday's news \| Tomorrow's headlines